cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
