she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
