don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize