He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
