mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize