so explain again why im purple
no
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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