Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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