Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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