I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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