I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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