Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
