YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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