butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
