You made me cry and you don't even care
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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