There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The beer is more important than you right now.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
