so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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