you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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