i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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