Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
