someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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