Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
