i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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