The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
