508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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