well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
