The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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