i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
