he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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