I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
