Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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