And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
