i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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