I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
