I need help removing her.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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