Just cropdusted the office
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
