I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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