Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I love you. Go after that dick
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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