I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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