1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize