He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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