So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
