sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
