Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Porn is love you can see.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
