im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize