btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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