escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
