yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
