nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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