It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
