Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
