wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
