i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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