So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
