OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
