so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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