I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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