apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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