Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
