Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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