you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
