im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
