That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
