so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
