Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
