i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He felt like a one man threesome
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
