dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
