And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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