Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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