I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Someone signed my nipple.
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