i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
