I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
