You can't motorboat a personality
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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