i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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