i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
