is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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