used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
