Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
